i’m sitting in a coffee shop blogging

omg.

has it really come down to this?

i’m blogging for real, not this quasi myspace blogging that began to get weird for me. i don’t know what it is but i feel like i can’t express myself on there, not quite sure how this will be any different but it already feels like it is.  of course i’m feeling a slight case of writer’s block but that’s par for the course i suppose.  ok, enough boringness.

yesterday i was reading ‘the tao of physics’ by fritjof capra, a physicist and systems theorist. the book is brilliant and i recommend it to everyone who is interested in venturing down the rabbit hole of progressive thought. anyway, there’s a quote in it from chuang tzu, a chinese philosopher:

“in the transformation and growth of all things, every bud and feature has its proper form. in this we have their gradual maturing and decay, the constant flow of transformation and change.”

i believe this struck a chord with me because this year is all about change. on the 4th day of the year i moved away from a city that i’d grown very comfortable in (phoenix) and venture up the coast to san francisco, a city i knew very little about other than that i’ve always been in awe of it and wanted to live there some day. so, here i am. living here. i’m at a coffee shop (progressive grounds) right around the corner from my house, a house i just moved into. a 130 year-old house, with a backyard, an art barn, a clawfoot tub, ghosts (or one in particular), passion flower vines wrapping its lovely arms around the back patio, a stoop, a clever & cool roommate, 3 cats, 1 dogs… all these things i wanted some where inside of me, and now i have them and it’s kind of hard to believe.  i’ve spent so much of my life resisting all of the things that will truly make me happy and i have finally come to a point where i embrace every single little moment that i feel joy. all of this is possible because i’ve also learned how to welcome the pain, too.

on february 9th i wrote this in my little moleskin that i carry around everywhere with me:

i’m at dolores park enjoying coffee in the sun waiting for anna. vita has befriended two hipsters on a blanket and is begging them to play with her and the tennis ball. you know those moments when you’re totally content and can’t imagine  being in a present moment…this is one of those times. i am truly meant to be here. right now. not thinking about then or when or why or……..

and that’s about as deep as i feel like getting right now. i’ll come back to all of this but i just got a little too deep for y britches right there.

aaliyah just came on at the coffeeshop, which is awesome because they were playing some putamayo world house music that was about to make me leave…oh turns out they close in 20 minutes anyway.

don’t worry my lovelies, this blog will be chalked full of the things i’m known best for: opinions with knee-jerk reactions, people wearing socks with sandals, the ever-hated vanity plates, ninja camera phone pics of people that shouldn’t be allowed in public..you know. today i just felt like being kinda emo.